My hands gripped the wheel tighter. Something didn’t feel right yet.
I was driving to the grocery store thinking about an upcoming talk I was going to give. The message I wanted to share wasn’t really clear yet. The talk was about my story of deciding to leave New Zealand and move back to Canada. It’s a story of listening to your inner wisdom, taking risks and leaving… what’s comfortable.
“What’s so attractive about being uncomfortable?” I said out loud to the reusable, empty shopping bag slumped in the passenger seat beside me. I was being the devil’s advocate as I thought through what was still unclear.
“Who wants to be uncomfortable?” I was thinking how do I ‘sell’ discomfort? We work so hard to achieve comfort. I reflected on my own life in NZ and how much effort and money I put into creating a business and running it for so many years and renovating my house and putting the gardens in …so I could be comfortable. I LOVE comfort.
The problem was that I loved it so much I didn’t want to leave it. I had become comfortable in my life, comfortable in my business, comfortable in my little home. The comfort had become a barricade from life.
But if one was to be secluded somewhere then being barricaded in paradise wasn’t so bad. Right?
But…but…BUT…something inside of me felt… unsettled. It was as if I had been walking this path called “my life” and that I had stopped along the path because I found a pretty spot…and… I had decided to stay there in this one spot…forever! And there my life stopped.
As much as I loved it there, I didn’t feel fulfilled! My soul was tugging at my sleeve to step out and into my life once more.
My attention moved back to the present moment as I signaled to turn left. I glanced over at the shopping bag still slumped in the seat beside me. Making the turn and steering the car into the right hand lane my thoughts went back to my talk and my concern.
It wasn’t about physically moving locations or keeping myself busy because that can be a distraction to avoid listening to my inner wisdom. It was about following the tug of my soul to wherever it was leading me…and that might be moving and it might be something else. But wherever the tug led me, it meant leaving the place where I was comfortable. (or where I THOUGHT I was comfortable… which is a whole other conversation.)
If I ignored the call of my soul and stayed hanging onto the “comfort”, I knew something inside me was going to die.
I still had dreams to fulfil!
Comfort zones are where dreams go to die!! That was it! This was the message.
I maneuvered the car into a parking spot. With a deep sigh I put my hand on the reusable grocery bag and sat there.
I didn’t want to live my life being dead inside hanging on to something that used to feel good. That was why I followed the tug of my spirit to come back to Canada.
Leaning closer to the steering wheel, I looked through the windscreen at the few clouds in the blue sky.
I don’t want to hang on to anything that feels good for fear I might lose it. I want to enjoy my life. And find the courage to feel joy and gratitude in every moment… even the moments when something I loved has come to the time for it to move on and to feel gratitude for the moment of having had it in my life.
Comfort zones are where dreams go to die.
I want to live.
Clutching the bag, I opened the door and stepped out into the sun. Today is a good day!
(I wrote this story in my book: Open Me – the true story of a magical journey from fear to freedom available on Amazon.)